Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize