I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
