I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
