Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
