God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
