were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
