So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
