Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
