check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
