he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize