I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
