Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle

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(573): View more from Missouri

I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with

(217): View more from Illinois

well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.

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(205): View more from Alabama

I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.

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(917): View more from New York City

your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?

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(931): View more from Tennessee

My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.

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