I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
