He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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