Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
