please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
