no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
