# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
