He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
