Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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