thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
