i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
