it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
