My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
