Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
