Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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