the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
