I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
