Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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