love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize