the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
