Betty ford says i'm here all night
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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