he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize