The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
