I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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