Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
