You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I need moral support for this bender
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
