If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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