i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
