I love black thongs
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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