you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
