Im at strip club and am horny
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
