I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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