It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
