He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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