So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
