That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The chlamydia really affected his face.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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