I'm drive I can fine osifer
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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