Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
