i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
