I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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