Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
