I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Screwed.edu
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I feel like a drive thru vagina
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
