so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Vodka?
Forever.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize