i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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