PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
