try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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